Postpartum Gymtimidation

I started working out again 1 month postpartum which is a week ago. I know, I know you are supposed to wait until 6 weeks PP but I had a beautiful natural birth..didn't even tear, TMI. I healed beautifully. Felt like a million bucks literally a minute after it was over. I feel ready and I am listening to my body.

So far I have only worked out at the tiny, private gym in my town home community. Today my husband is home early. He's a Marine and was gone on a field op leaving me home for the first night alone with our little one so I took some well deserved me time and went to the "big girl gym".

My bae, she's perfection

I did this with great anxiety. Last time I did my thang at a gym I was in good shape! I was comfortable with my body, my weight and abilities. This time I was self conscious. REALLY self conscious. Something I am sure most new moms can relate to.  I have been 60 lbs overweight for a year when I was a teen and when I lost that weight I steered CLEAR from a gym until I lost the first 30. I refuse to do that now. 

After putting on my big girl panties and going...I still felt uncomfortable, even a little afraid. I'm flabby. My belly sticks out in a way it hasn't before, my workout pants are a large now not a small,  my fitness level is low in comparison to pre-pregnancy and I'm praying "dear lord don't let me leak!". My, have things changed LOL!  I was so certain that everyone was looking at me passing their judgements. But, here's the thing.

1. I'm giving people too much credit, most are too self centered to notice someone else.

2. I owe an explanation to no one!! I have no problem being this way with anything else in my life. Why apologize for my body?

3. I really am beautiful.. My body brought life into this world. Like, can you grasp how amazing that is?!?! My body STILL sustains her life as I nurse her and care for her day in and day out. ( Yep. I did it! I kept her alive haha ;] ) My now flabby stomach was the home of a beautiful healthy little girl.

^THIS WAS INSIDE MY BODY

What  I am trying to say is....I have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

 I am unapologetically me!

SO I DID WORK. I want to get fit for me, For the way I'll feel and look. I want to shed my 25 lbs of pregnancy weight (and maybe then some) and be energetic and strong. LETS DO THIS.

Beyonce video because I'm moto like that